I don't really have much going on in my life right now. It is the calm before the storm. However, I have been learning a lot. I don't really want to write a
dissertation, so I will try to sum it up. In Women's
Biblestudy we learned about being keeper's of our homes. I learned lot of reasons why I should be a keeper of the home, but here are some of my practical resolutions:
- Get up half an hour early to work or clean the house
- Stop working at 5pm to be with the family
- Plan my meals for the week on Monday
- Get a cleaning schedule together
Something else Josh and I have been talking about is me not working anymore. And strangely enough, I am the one struggling with it. On December 1st we will have finished paying off two HUGE debts that we have had for a while. So starting in the new year the income we were putting towards this huge payment we could now use to pay off other debt and save for a home. But we don't
need to, and frankly, my "keeper of the home" duties and motherly responsibility has been falling be the wayside recently. I finish working satisfied, but stressed, and come to Josh and Charis who are wondering when dinner is going to even get started. I am totally disappointed in myself. What is my real priority? My family or some loan file?
We did decide that until
Selah comes in March I have a good routine set up with Charis to keep working (as long as I work on my resolutions). But when
Selah comes I am going to be done, or significantly cut back. Most of you would be jumping for joy to think that you never have to work again, but I am still getting there. (Why am I so messed up about these things?)
Anyway, that is what I have been learning... and needless to say I have a lot of work to do.
12 comments:
Being home with Abigail was one of the best... and the hardest things I have ever done. I think part of why it was so hard is because our whole lives we are conditioned to see our value in measurable ways- we get good grades, score the most points, win the award or whatever. We take that into adulthood... we finish a file, help a patient achieve pain relief, make and implement lesson plans- and get a paycheck, recognition from bosses, raises, promotions, etc.
Being a parent is exactly opposite. There is no way to objectivly determine if you are doing well or not... that is a HUGE mind shift. It's not like you get a yearly evaluation, feedback from a boss, or even a true job description and performance goals! It's hard because it is so broad and undefined!
So, especially for us "Gen X" or "Gen Next" or whatever they call us, I think staying home can be a real struggle. I know that even if I was married to a wonderful guy and could stay home and all that, it would be very difficult for me.
I think your resolutions will help. And I am more than happy to call you every morning to make sure you are up:)
love you!
You have some great resolutions. I too struggle with my time and my priorities and my being a mom. Its important for me to be with my children but at the same time when I am home alone with them all the time(especially since Dan works nights) I feel trapped. It is nice to have a break from being Mom. Though since my Janea is in my class at school and Jaron is just upstairs I do see them all the time.
Evaluate the situation very carefully, pray and ask the Lord to make you be content for what you have and what you will have when the new baby comes. As a mom of two the workload can triple with the addition of another child! Know that only by trusting in the Lord will you make the right decision for your family. I will be praying for you and Josh as you go through these challenges and struggles:) Keep your chin up and hang in there!
It would be very difficult for me to give up work. I mean, it's kind of what I've been training for my entire life thus far. At least in my mind (not in God's). It's my ministry, my job, my happiness, and frankly I enjoy it. So for me to give that up would definitely be seen as a huge sacrifice for my family. It would be worth it, but definitely difficult. So I definitely understand at least part of where you are coming from. I think in the long run you will be happy for your choices, and even rejoicing in them, but the initial giving up will be a challenge.
I'm proud of you Honey. It is wonderful seeing you as a loving, caring Mom and a working woman. You are very organized and lead a well planned out life(as much as God lets you). You can do this!!! God will lead and show you the priorities, once you know the time needed to keep them in order you will organize and plan for it.
Talking as a mom who sits around eating "Alien" food and sleeping. I know that the "house" was not always perfect when Dad came home from work but the smell of dinner was there. Toys could be left out all night but paths were made through the house to get to rooms safely. Most days you kids could say, "Daddy, Daddy, we did ______ today and it was great!!" I figured out how to get you kids/daycare kids also to clean up after yourselves or at least 1/2 hour before the first one left. I even think God gives us children to keep up with all the house keeping. Kids and chores go together like peanutbutter and chocolate. Look around what can Charis do to help?
Well, I sure have talked more then I ever do. If you want to talk to me I might have some time saving ideas you can use.
Love, Mom
Hi Moriah,
It's always nice to be able to pay off debt and it would be nice to get a home sooner then later (especially if that ice thing happens like last year, ick) but it is much more important for you to be with your family and not feel like you are struggling with your family commitments and household duties. I am going to keep working after little Isabel arrives because I need to in order for us to be able to afford for me to go to law school and I am already worried about work-life balance and I can't even take my work home.
Maybe someone could help out with the household duties. The neighbor girl (she's 15 and has 4 little siblings) offered to help with cooking and cleaning three times a week for $40/week once Isabel arrives. I think I might take her up on it because it would be a nice break when I could relax and spend some time with Izzy. Maybe someone at church (either a retiree or a teen) would be willing to help you out until you can give up work? Just a thought.
I completely understand what you're saying here. I left work today as well and this was one really hard thing to do. Although i don't associate myself with my job, I do find satisfaction in it when I did it well, and saying goodbye to that was hard. But overall our children and husbands come first. I am here if you want to talk more about this, but I understand your feelings. it's hard to fully comprehend that magnitude of being a stay at home mother. It's more than a job, it's a calling from God and that in and of itself is an amazing feat to accomplish. Anyone can do a job. Not anyone can be a stay at home mother. You are one of the few that God has blessed with this opportunity and I believe in you.
You're having trouble walking away from loan files? What on earth is wrong with you?!?! Just kidding. It's a wonderful feeling to know that you are helping make someone's home a reality (as well as saving for your own). However, the heart of your home is the most important thing. Your mom's post was beautiful and sums up the important memories of childhood. Your children are blessed because their mom is a hard worker, one who takes pride (in a good way) in what she does and does it well. They're also blessed because you love them and desire to raise them in a way that pleases God. You'll work on finding a balance between those things your whole life and it will be an ongoing opportunity to draw on God for strength, patience, and purpose.
Meg
oh my goodness!
i have another blog to stalk!! i LOVE reading your blog, Josh's is great too. blessings girl!!
rosie........:)
I tried an easy cleaning schedule, it goes something like this ('cause I'm a sucker for alliteration)
Monday = mail (bills, letters, etc)
Tuesday = do 2 rooms
Wednesday = wet day (laundry & bathroom)
Thursday = do 2 rooms again
Friday = fridge & kitchen
Saturday = yard/porch & grocery shop
Sunday = None day (avoid it if you can)
Yeah, but then life happens and the plan goes into the SOMEDAY category;D
ok... seriously!?!?! It has almost been a month!!!!!!!!! I can't go that long without an update! Especially since I can't just call you anymore because of your stupid phone!!!! UPDATE ALREADY!!!!
P.S. 3 days!!
LOL Talitha- Does Jordan have a blog for little Noah? If not, will cousins be featured on the Huff life blog page too? By the way Moriah, I envy that you don't have to find a daycare. I having been calling for two weeks. If they don't have spots, when I go to visit that are horribly dirty or understaffed or like something out of Mommy dearest... Plus, they are all $200 plus per week. Eeek! I wish I could work from home. =(
In two days it will have been a month since you posted. I'm just helping.
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