Sorry to keep all of you waiting for so long. There is a lot going on in our lives right now, so it has been hard to get to the computer. (Not to mention Talitha is working on the computer while I am at work, so I have to try to find time at home to post - yeah right.)
The interview went well. I wasn't that thrilled in the beginning because he was talking about me working in the office and the money was actually cut in half (stupid income and self employment tax!). But as we went on things seemed to work out a little more. I left excited. We still have more to work out and will be meeting again this week to hopefully finalize things.
But regardless of whether I get the job or not I am giving my two weeks to my nanny family today. Josh and I have decided that this place is not good for me. Nannying has made me not want to have any more children. I just see any child as one that would take me away from Charis, and I don't see how I could love any child as much as I love Charis. Yes, people tell me that God just gives you more love, but as of right now I don't see that. I wouldn't say I am depressed, but in regards to the whole baby / job thing I might go there. Anyway, that is something you can pray for me about. I want to change my attitude, but it doesn't seem that simple. There are a lot more details about this, but it will have to wait a couple weeks. Sorry. Please keep our family in your prayers. And for those of you nearby, if you know of anyone who is looking for a nanny job, let me know. (The boys really are good boys. I am just not a kid person - unless it is my kid.)
On a happier note I am determined to post some great pics of Charis soon and also tell you about all the new things she is doing. So look for that soon.
Oh yeah. Harry Potter was amazing. I am going to read it again.
The comings and goings of the Huff family... cute pics of the munchkins... and thoughts on the blessed life God has given us.
Let us fix our eyes upon Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith.
Hebrews 12:2
3 comments:
Praying for you girl! I don't know the specifics but God does! Hopefully the new job thing will work out!
Just want to say a few things:
1. There was a time (a very long time, and not so very long ago) that I was nearly convinced that I could never love another child the way I love Abigail. Sure, I wanted to have more children, but I was fairly certain that they would not experience my love like Abigail does.
And in a way, that's true. I think, just like you love Jordan differently than you love Isaac, just like you love your mom differently than you love your dad... you will love your next child differently than you love Charis. They will be two totally seperate entites, and your experiences with Baby 2 will be different than your experiences with Charis. It will be different.
But it won't be less. Of this, I am convinced.
2. I, too, found that having my own child made me less patient and kind to other children. I couldn't bring myself to love them they way I love Abigail, and rightly so. It is an attitude that I am working to change; I think at heart, the attitude that makes us impatient towards "other" children is an attitude that comes down to "my kid is better than you." And that's simply a lie. I'm not sure how to change it, but I have been activly tring! (And I notice that I feel a lot less that way when I am around Charis than when I am around someone else's kid. I think it's because I love Charis like she is my niece... which is closer to how I love Abigail, than, say, how I feel about a co-worker's kid.)
3. HP7. Amazing. Finished this morning!!!!!!
That's all for now.
Again, Grace is pretty much amazing at this advice stuff. If I might add one thing, it's this: God gave you the heart he did because he knows you and perhaps your attitude about your job was God's way of telling you to move on. I have to agree with Josh in this. Especially after you tried so hard to overcome your grief and attitude about it. I believe God changes our hearts for specific reasons and perhaps this is yours. Not to say negative attitudes are great, but it might be an indicator of where He wants you to be. I know I have a feeling of forboading about certain things that I won't do because I feel it is God telling me that is not for me.
I'll be praying for you. As always my dear. And I second the idea that you love each child separately and as strong as the first. Just in a different way. Remember back to when you first fell in love with Charis and how long that took. It wasn't the second you conceived. It takes a while for your heart to get bigger! But it will stretch and compensate for lost time.
Love you Dear.
P.S. Could I possibly put my name in the jar for future Tamaka references? : )
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